Letters
by Kathryn Hart
Summary: What if the Doctor, after he lost Rose, wrote a letter to her after every one of his adventures, and kept them hidden away and safe, as a way to connect himself to her? What if he gave her the letters in "Journey's End"? COMPLETE, Sequel posted!
1. Intro, Author's Note

_**Letters**_

_by Kathryn Hart_

Summary: What if, the Doctor, after he lost Rose, wrote a letter to her after every one of his adventures, and kept them hidden away and safe, as a way to connect himself to her? What if he had a chance to give her the letters in _Journey's End_? A Summary of all episodes from Series 3 and 4 from the Doctor's viewpoint.

Disclaimer: I own nothing of Doctor Who, which is a real shame, because if I did, the end of Series 2 would've been very different.

I put the intro on it's own chapter, to make the next chapters more realistic, like they're actual letters. I'll only add author's notes if I _really_ need to. So I'll say it now, please review! Updates make for more "letters". :D

I tried to keep the Doctor in character, but only a bit, because I believe if he was writing a letter, he would write a little differently than he would talk to somebody, especially Rose. He possibly wouldn't talk about all the technical stuff, just the issues of the heart, because he thinks Rose is never going to read them. Some chapters will be short, some will be longer, depending on how much the Doctor feels like writing. ;)

Please Enjoy! :)

P.S. Those who read my story "Nine Events" and asked for the sequel "Ten Events", just know that I've started that story, I have the first three events written, Hopefully I'll finish it soon! :D


	2. The Runaway Bride

_Dear Rose Tyler:  
_

_ I know you will never see these letters, as fate has decided to separate us permanently. But hope is what keeps us going right? I figured writing these would help keep me close to you, so I'll never forget all the memories we made together. And I've decided to use real paper, somehow it just seems more tangible._

_ I'll start out by saying how much this separation has hurt me. Rose, you were so special, you are so special to me, words cannot even say how special you are to me. You were there Rose, you changed me from the bitter man I was before I met you, back before I regenerated. Even after that, you stuck with me. I wish I had done the same. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. If I could go back, I would. I would give another regeneration again, just to be with you. _

_ We had some fun times didn't we? I hope you're not too sad, I couldn't bear the thought of you not having a fantastic life._

_ It seems writing this was not such a good idea, look, my eyes are watering again. I hope this tear drop dries off the paper. _

_ Anyways, after I was pulled away from you, it wasn't long before I was called on to save the world again. This woman named Donna was pulled into the TARDIS. She was really angry at the time but she got over it and we got on well after that. You would have liked her. Oh, and guess what? The Santa robots were back, just like last Christmas, remember, the Pilot Fish? That was my first memory created with you in this form, those first few days. _

_ I'm off track again, let's see, it seems the queen of this ancient race called the Racnoss was slowly poisoning Donna with Huon particles, which were responsible for pulling her into the TARDIS, but I'll skip the technical stuff. It all was to revive her Racnoss family waiting at the center of the earth. Of course I was able to stop her from conquering the world. _

_ But at that moment, when the queen and her children were drowning, I couldn't move. All I could think of was wanting to wipe out all evil in the world, no matter who paid. I thought, if only I had acted sooner, if only I had fully wiped out the Daleks back before the worst day of my life, the day you nearly fell into the void. _

_ I also thought that maybe, if I destroy enough evil in the universe, just maybe, I could have you back again. But I can't, and all I wanted to do at that moment was to die along with the Racnoss. _

_ Thankfully, Donna was there to remind me of who I am, and who you helped me become. Oh, she was brilliant! Turned down my offer to travel in time and space though. Good thing, because I don't think I could handle having another companion, so soon after losing you. I think of you all the time Rose, I hope you are thinking of me too._

_-Always-_

_Your Doctor_

_P.S. You left your jacket here in the TARDIS. I put it in the closet for you._


	3. Smith and Jones

_Dear Rose:  
_

_ It seems writing does help, and I've decided to try it again. Today was just so exciting I had to share it with you, even though you'll never have a chance to read this. _

_ You'll never believe it Rose, I was on the moon! Of course, that in itself is not so surprising, I've been to the moon hundreds of times. But this time I was in a hospital on the moon! I know, I know, I need to stay away from hospitals, being a Time Lord with two hearts and all, but there was this doctor, actually, doctor-in-training, and she helped me save the half the world from destruction from a Plasmavore and the Judoon! Her name is Martha Jones. Smart, very smart, that one._

_ I actually died, too, had most of my blood sucked out from the Plasmavore. But of course Martha, being a doctor, knew exactly what to do. I won't go into details about that. _

_ After the hospital was put back in its rightful place on Earth, I thought Martha would like a trip. But not as a companion, of course, she's not replacing you, no one could ever replace you Rose. It's just, I get so lonely sometimes. _

_ I wish you were here, you'd know just what to say, with that wonderful smile and that sparkle in your eye that makes all my troubles just disappear. _

_ So, I invited Martha on a trip, and she accepted. I'm planning on taking her to see Shakespeare and the Globe Theatre! Sounds safe enough right? Don't want to put her in any danger on her first and only trip! We'll see how that turns out, I'll write you again once we get back and I take her home._

_-I miss you-_

_Your Doctor_


	4. The Shakespeare Code

_ Rose:  
_

_ Well, I guess visiting Shakespeare was not such a good idea if we wanted to stay away from trouble. William Shakespeare was magnificent though! It's all true, the magic he has with words! I kept remembering Charles Dickens and how fun it was for us to meet him that Christmas Eve so long ago._

_ About the trouble I mentioned earlier, there were these beings, much like Earth's definition of a witch, called the Carrionites who use the power of words to control others and accomplish their plans. And who works better with words than Shakespeare himself? His lost play "Love Labours Won" was actually a weapon used by the Carrionite in order to bring forth their brethren trapped in another dimension._

_ At one moment, I was stumped. For once in my life, I didn't know what to do. All I could do was lay there on the bed and try to think of what you would say, what you would do, which of course, would be just the right thing. Poor Martha, that probably was rather cruel of me to say that in front of her._

_ But while the witches use words as weapons, so also can words be used against them. They tried to kill poor Martha just by naming her! Because she's a time traveler though she was only put to sleep temporarily. Then the witch tried to name me, which of course she couldn't, because my name is actually my title. I do have a name, but it's so hidden inside my mind that no one can determine my name unless I tell them. Maybe I'll tell you someday, in one of these letters._

_ Getting on track, the Carrionite said something that struck me to the heart. She said, and I will never forget:  
_

_ "__But your heart grows cold, the north wind blows, and carries down the distant...Rose?"_

_ I was not in control of my actions after that. Because that name, that's the name that gives me strength and hope, it's what keeps me fighting. Rose Tyler. That name, until the end of my days, will keep me fighting. Every day for the rest of my life I will keep on fighting for Rose Tyler and her memory._

_ Well, I suppose you're wondering how I saved the day. Well, it wasn't actually me this time. Ultimately, it was Shakespeare, using his power of words, that sent the Carrionite horde back where they came from. _

_ And, to top it all off, We saw Queen Elizabeth the 1__st__! But she tried to kill me, for reasons unknown. Obviously I shall do something in my future but in her past that makes her want to have me __killed! Reminded me of when we were banished by Queen Victoria. Blimey, so many things keep reminding me of you!_

_ Well, Martha was amazing on her first trip, so I've decided to take her on one more, this time to the future. I took her to the past, now I'm taking her to the future, just like how I took you to the future for your first trip, then I took you to the past. Not sure where I'll take her though, I'm sure I'll think of something soon._

_-Forever-_

_Your Doctor_


	5. Gridlock

_ Rose Tyler:_

_ I finally thought of a place to take Martha, even though she asked to go to Gallifrey. I couldn't tell her, not then, I just couldn't. After losing you, I wasn't ready to deal with the loss of my home also. So I lied to her, I lied to her Rose! How could I have done such a thing? I wanted to believe that Gallifrey was still there, that I hadn't destroyed it. _

_ In retrospect, New Earth wasn't the greatest place to take her, since she found out I had taken you there before. I don't know why I chose New Earth, I guess I just wanted to pretend that you were there too, that it was just like old times. _

_ Well...it definitely wasn't the same as last time. The entire planet had been wiped out by a virus except for those in the lower levels, cut off from the outside world. It was a strange sight, everyone in cars on the motorway driving for years around in circles!_

_ I met Novice Hame and the Face of Boe again. Apparently it's been many years since we last saw them. Hame has repented of her ways and took care of the Face of Boe's every need before he gave his life to free the underground._

_ It's very puzzling, his death. He was the last of his kind, as am I. It made me think about my death. When I die without regenerating, and I will someday, there will be no more Time Lords left, no one to protect all of space and time. Gallifrey and the Time War will be forgotten. It's a very disturbing thought._

_ The Face of Boe imparted his greatest secret to me before he died. He said _

_ "You Are Not Alone." I am baffled by this, as there are no Time Lords left. I told you that night in Utah, that I could feel if they were alive, in my mind. Martha of course thought he was talking about her, but that just doesn't fit. For a second I thought he meant that you were there, that you would always be with me. But I'll never be able to see your face again, never hear your contagious laughter, never hold your hand or hug you tightly again. The Face of Boe was wrong, I truly am alone._

_ So I told Martha that I had lied to her about Gallifrey and how I wanted to make believe it was still there. I told her everything, how the twin suns turn the sky burnt-orange, the red grass, and the silver leaves on the trees. It truly was a magnificent planet, I wish I could've taken you there. I miss Gallifrey, just as much as I miss you._

_ This last trip was very traumatizing for both Martha and I, so I'm going to take her to Old New York this time for one last trip, hopefully this'll be more memorable for her._

_-Thinking of you-_

_Your Doctor_


	6. Daleks in Manhattan, EoTD

_ My Rose:  
_

_ I just realized that I can't put dates on these letters. I mean, the TARDIS doesn't have a time, and it would be foolish to date them in Earth days, because I hardly ever travel to the same time any more. Oh well, it's not like you're going to read these anyway, right?_

_ I seem to be fated for trouble wherever I go. How could New York in 1930 be so dangerous anyway? Well, take New York, add pig mutants, an evil business contractor, the slums of Hooverville, a crazy showgirl, and the Cult of Skaro, and it seems New York can be very dangerous. _

_ That's right, the Cult of Skaro had escaped the void through a temporal shift. _

_ When I first saw them, I was so angry I could hardly see straight. It was their fault that I lost you! But not only that, my people had died in the Time War, but the Daleks keep living on, no matter what I do. They just continue on, with no way of stopping them. Why won't they just die for good? My people died for nothing._

_ But one of the Daleks, Dalek Sec, he was different this time. He had undergone a transformation, if you will, using a human to change his DNA. The first Dalek human had been born. At first I thought the Daleks were changing, that maybe they could change their hateful ways and truly be different. I even tried to help them along by getting them off earth and finding their own planet to live. But I was wrong, only Dalek Sec had changed. The others in the Cult of Skaro rebelled against Sec and killed him. They also killed hundreds of humans in their so-called experiments._

_ I met many good people though, Solomon, who was shot by a Dalek defending his people, Harry, a boy from out of town living on his own, Laszlo, half mutated into one of the pig slaves by the Daleks, and his girl Tallulah (three l's and an h), one of the show girls in a local theatre. Laszlo almost died because of the changes forced on him, but I had to save him. I couldn't stand to see another person die by the hand of the Daleks after so many had died before my eyes already. I can't change what the Daleks did to him, but he can live quietly with Tallulah and have a fairly peaceful life. _

_ I think this was a good experience for Martha, so I'm taking her home. I am both glad and saddened by this. Sad that she is leaving, but glad that I can finally be on my own again. I wonder how she will take the news. . ._

_-Only yours-_

_Your Doctor_


	7. The Lazarus Experiment

_ Rose:  
_

_ Martha was **not** happy that I took her home. I had a hard time reading her emotions at first. She was surprised and angry, yet sad I guess. I do that to people don't I? Remember Adam? From Utah? He really didn't want to go either. But it's best that I'm alone, especially right now. But as I was leaving I noticed something strange. On the telly a man called Dr. Lazarus said he was going to change "what it means to be human." Of course I couldn't let that one slide by without a 'how do you do.'_

_ Putting on that tux was a little difficult for me. I kept remembering the last time I wore it, when we were in the parallel world the first time, where you are right now. Oh bother, I hope this tear drop dries off as well..._

_ Martha's family is worse than yours! Completely messed up the Jones' are. I can say this for Jackie though, her slaps are still worse than Mrs. Jones. I can't believe it, it's always the mothers! I can still feel the mark where Jackie slapped me back in my previous form. Blimey that woman has an arm! Strangely Mrs. Jones doesn't like me for some reason. I didn't even do anything this time!_

_ It was true, Dr. Lazarus had changed what it meant to be human. He altered his DNA to make him young again. At first I thought it was impossible for a seventy-six year old man to become young again, until I realized he only messed with his human DNA without knowing the consequences. He was mutating into an uncontrollable monster._

_ The whole subject of living more than one life is both a blessing and a curse to me. Of course, no one wants to die, but after years and years of seeing everyone around you fade away and losing everything you love, you just get tired. Sick and tired of the struggle and the will to survive. _

_ I always end up alone, in the end. Everyone and everything I come in contact with will someday disappear. It always does. The same blessing is also a curse of the Time Lords._

_ Lazarus said it was a price worth paying, but I'm not so sure. But the time that I spent with you, the time I spent with all my past companions, the people I've met, the places I've seen...I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. I just wish it all didn't have to end, that I wouldn't always end up alone.  
_

_ Lazarus' fight for survival ending up being his destruction. He was uncontrollable, and he had to be stopped. I just wish that he didn't have to die. His quest for longevity had abruptly ended. I just hope I don't go the same way._

_ When I invited Martha on one more trip, I was surprised by her reaction. She said no. I was confused, until she explained. She didn't want to be just a guest anymore, she wanted to travel with me indefinitely. If that wasn't possible she didn't want to come, and I don't blame her. _

_ I wrote before that I preferred to be alone, but when faced with the decision, I knew I couldn't bear it without someone there. As Donna said, I need someone to stop me when I get out of control. _

_ So Martha's now my companion. She's still not replacing you though. I'm just glad that I won't be alone for a little while longer. But this too will eventually end, as does everything else._

_-From-_

_Your Doctor_


	8. 42

_ Miss Rose:  
_

_ This day so far has been one of the most disturbing and troubling since you left. You'll never believe all that happened!_

_ First, we landed on a spaceship that was 42 minutes away from crashing into a sun, immediately we were cut off from the TARDIS, the engines on the ship were failing, and to top it all off, beings from the living sun were infecting the crew and killing them off, one by one._

_ At first I thought the infection was just a virus, that the crew were changing from a parasite. Because Capt. McDonnell swore she did nothing, I did not suspect anything more. We had to work quickly to find a way to stop the ship from crashing.  
_

_ One of the crewmen who had been infected, Ashton, he jettisoned a pod that Martha and a man named Riley had taken refuge in. I was forced to go outside the ship in order to re-magnetize the pod back to the ship._

_ But as I gazed into the rays of the sun, something had gone wrong. I realized with horror that it was the sun that was alive! And before I could do anything about it, I too had been infected. There was this indescribable fire within my chest that burned me to the core. I felt a torrent of anger and fury that wasn't from me._

_ Through the living sun I learned why it was taking over the crew. McDonnell and the crew had been mining the sun for fuel. It was screaming because they were scooping out its heart._

_ It was agonizing, the fire that burned through my eyes. The sun was living in me, and I was slowly being destroyed from the inside out. I'm not sure if I could've regenerated or not. Thankfully I was able to last longer than the others had because I'm a Time Lord. I calculated that I could withstand the stasis chamber in freezing temperatures, so the living sun could be frozen out of me._

_ Every single second I wanted to give up, the wave of fire was just too excruciating. But I was horrified at the thought that I could be the harbinger of death to the whole crew, including Martha. So I held on. I was so scared, more scared than I had ever been in my life. I'm so glad Martha was there, she helped me hold on long enough to enter the stasis chamber._

_ Oh it was so cold! Suddenly the temperature had dropped so quickly that it would've instantly killed any human. But the living sun was communicating with the others outside the medical bay, and the energy was cut off from the stasis chamber. At that moment I knew I couldn't keep Martha close to me any more. I figured, in a one in a million chance, if the fuel was vented from the engines, if the crew gave back what they had stolen, maybe everything would turn right again. She didn't want to leave, but I made her._

_ It felt like the last time I had regenerated, when I absorbed the Time Vortex from you, except, this time, a million times stronger. I still don't know if you remember all that happened, but, even though I died that day, you saved me, more than you'll ever know. I desperately wished you were there at that moment, just as you were when I regenerated. You would've made the pain more bearable._

_ I was finally ready to give up. But I needed to tell Martha. I told her one last time to give back what had been taken. Then it was begun. I gave myself up to the sun. The light burned through my eyes and the sound that came from my mouth sounded like a monster. The monster within me said _

_ "Burn with me, burn with me Martha!" I had lost control, letting the angry fire and passion consume my entire soul. I still shiver over the thought._

_ But, as suddenly as it began, it was over. That instant relief of the heat leaving my body was refreshing. I actually thought for a second that I had regenerated, but I was very glad to realize that I hadn't. The intercom said "Impact averted, impact averted" and I realized Martha had saved the day. She saved all of us. It felt so good to be normal again._

_ But the experience had damaged me, both my body and my mind. I still feel a bit feverish right now, but I'm sure it'll pass. My mind will take much longer to heal though._

_ This has been my longest letter yet! I better end it soon, or else Martha will burst in here demanding to know where we're going next._

_-Remembering you-_

_Your Doctor_


	9. Human Nature, Family of Blood

_ My Distant Rose:  
_

_ ...I am unsure how to start this one. Lately my mind has been so fuddled and I can hardly think straight. These past few days have been a nightmare. _

_I guess I'll start from the beginning, which was about a month ago..._

_ It started out as a pretty normal day; Martha and I exploring a new world. But we came upon this family, the Family of Blood. These creatures only live three months, and they wanted the life of a Time Lord so they could live forever. Of course we tried to escape, but the problem was, they could sniff me out, wherever I went. There was nowhere we could hide while I was still a Time Lord. So I became human. Used a chameleon circuit to rewrite my DNA.(very painful by the way)_

_ It would've been fine after that, but as a human I couldn't remember my life as a Time Lord. My head would have exploded with all the knowledge. So I stored all my Time Lord DNA into a fob watch and landed the TARDIS in London 1913. That was where the nightmare began._

_ I don't feel like writing it, but I know I must. If I stop writing now, I fear I will never write again, and I can't accept that._

_ John Smith was created in the place of me, The Doctor. He lived an average life, met average people, did ordinary things. But he wasn't me. And John Smith fell in love. For a short while he lived the one adventure I could never have._

_ But John Smith kept dreaming of being a traveler in a blue box, remembering strange creatures and places, but only one name would come to his mind, only one name spoke clear through his dreams. And that name was Rose. He couldn't even remember his own name, or Martha's name, but he remembered yours. I don't know why._

_ So...John Smith fell in love, I guess because it was what he always wanted. I want you to realize though, that this John Smith **is not me.** He is only what I would've been if I were human. It made me think about what would've happened if I were a human, what sort of life I could've lived. I hope there is a John Smith out there somewhere for you, a brilliant man attentive to your every need, who will be there for you, and will never leave you, someone who could do more than I ever could. That is what I wish for you now that I will never see your face again._

_ The Family of Blood came after us though. Poor Martha, she watched me treat her like a servant, watched me fall in love with another woman, watched as the aliens threatened and killed many of those in that small boy's school. I fear she may be permanently damaged by the whole ordeal._

_ John Smith did not want to leave. He was horrified at the thought of leaving Joan and the life he had made for himself. He didn't want to become lonely again, and I don't blame him, not one bit. I think loneliness is one of the worst feelings out there. Smith adamantly demanded to stay. I can still feel the tears that ran down his face as he took a glimpse into what his life could've been, if I had never existed. _

_ But Joan was right. She told me after it was over, that he was braver than I. I only changed, but John had died. But I remember everything that happened. I still remember all of John's memories. _

_ I invited Joan to come with us in the TARDIS. But she harshly rejected me, saying the man she had fallen in love with was dead. And maybe it's true. I don't know why I wanted her there after all that heartache, maybe I thought I could grasp something that has always been denied to me before._

_ I am bothered by what Martha had told John. She said she loved me, the Doctor. I ignored it, even after I had changed, but now that I am alone, I realize the damage I have done. I fear she has fallen in love with me, me and my two broken hearts. But I can't do anything about it, you know me, I can't pursue a relationship, not with a human. Falling in love, however, I was close to falling in love, once, a while ago._

_ I'm sorry, I can't continue writing, I'm going to have to stop here._

_-Still and always-_

_Your Doctor_


	10. Blink

_ Dear Rose:  
_

_ After my last letter, I was not sure I would ever write you again. Things seem to have gone back to normal between Martha and I, however they are a little strained. But I wanted to share with you again, somehow it makes you feel not so far away._

_ Not much to say this time, I'm afraid._

_ This whole traveling in time business sometimes gets ahead of me. It started a while back in front of a DVD store, where a woman named Sally Sparrow handed me a list of DVD names and a script and told me I was going to be trapped in 1969 someday, and I better have the documents with me. It really bothers me when someone knows my future and I am unaware. It's even stranger when that person's prediction comes to pass._

_ So there we were, stuck in 1969, just as Sally had predicted. The only things we had were the list of DVDs and the script. We had been transported back in time, without the TARDIS. The Weeping Angels they were called, are creatures faster than light and nearly unstoppable. Part of their biology is that they turn to stone whenever they are looked upon. And you can't kill a stone._

_ The only thing to do was to try to communicate with someone in the future and send the TARDIS back to us. When I looked at the script I was shocked at what it actually was. It was a conversation between me and Sally Sparrow. I knew I had to tell her somehow, to actually have this conversation with her, in both our times._

_ We met a man named Billy Shipton, who had also been transported back in time. We found out that he had just met Sally, and he could be the key to us communicating. Remembering the DVD store, I had an idea. Billy went into DVD publishing and together we created the conversation on the script, just my side of the conversation of course. That's where the list of DVDs came in. I'm still not sure what they have in common, but it did have something to do with Sally. I also made a special DVD that, when inserted into the TARDIS, would send it back to 1969, back where we were._

_ Well obviously, Sally got our message, we got our TARDIS, and everything was back to normal. I even tricked the Weeping Angels to look at each other, which caused them to be turned to stone forever._

_ Yep, that's about it. I'm glad I didn't give up writing, I still feel somehow connected to you, even though you are so far away._

_-Ever so distant-_

_Your Doctor_


	11. Utopia, TSoD, LotTL

_My Brightest Star:  
_

_ I can hardly get my paper and pencil out fast enough! I can't believe it's only been a year since my last letter, it feels much much longer than that. Well, technically the year never existed, but it has for me. You can't possibly imagine how agonizing it was for me to go a whole year with no paper or writing utensils on hand. I felt like I had been cut off from you again, just like in Canary Wharf, when I was all alone in that immensely large room in Torchwood. As I placed my hand on the empty white wall, I could feel a tiny spark of your presence, just for a second. That second I cherish. I could feel you, for a moment, up against that uninviting wall, both of us clinging desperately to what we had, to what had been cruelly snatched away in a moment's notice._

_ It has been a very long year, I'll try to sum up. I am afraid to put this pencil down, I have been longing to tell you all that's been happening, to somehow feel you again within this emptiness._

_ You remember Jack, Captain Jack Harkness, don't you? Of course you do, it's hard to forget a man like him, with all his annoying pleasantries and arrogant comments. You seemed quite fond of him though. _

_ But I still miss those days, just you and me and Jack, traveling in the TARDIS, the best of friends. Until that fateful day at the Game Station, where the old me was destroyed and I left Jack behind. I am so sorry about that, but I had to. Jack had become an impossible thing. He was unable to die. He had become a fact, and I couldn't help but be repelled by him, even the TARDIS was too, she ran to the end of the universe just to shake him off. But of course, traveling through the Time Vortex didn't kill him, I don't think anything can now._

_ And it was you that did it to him Rose, well, technically, the Bad Wolf. The last great act of the Time War was life. It still frightens me when I think about how much power you had, how close you were to death. But at least you're safe now, and I'm a different man than who I was back then._

_ Jack misses you very much, but he's extremely glad to know that you had not died in the Battle of Canary Wharf, even though your name is on the list of the dead. I think I may have been permanently damaged if you had actually died, or even worse, fallen into the void. That horrifying thought chills me to the bone._

_ Remember when I told you what the Face of Boe told me on New Earth? He said "You Are Not Alone." Remember how I told you that he was wrong, that I truly am alone? Well, I was wrong, in a way. My friend from long ago, and my greatest enemy, the Master, had used a Chameleon Circuit and was living his life as Professor Yana at the end of the universe, unaware of his Time Lord status. That is, until we came along. He opened the fob watch and became the Master again, stealing the TARDIS and becoming Prime Minster of London back in Martha's time. I had just enough time to lock the controls to travel only to London and back to where he started._

_ Thankfully, Jack still had his "space-hopper" which allowed us to travel back and follow the Master. But he had already taken control, he had been in London for eighteen months already, living as Harry Saxon, the Prime Minister, with Lucy Saxon, his human wife, who knew his secret and stood by his side despite it._

_ Our plan to stop him was a failure, and the Master had complete control of the entire earth with his human-alien mutants obeying his every order. In that horrible year that followed, many people died. He reversed my ability to regenerate and turned me into an actual 900 year old man. Let me tell you, that was worse than the Chameleon circuit. _

_ I think the one that suffered the most from this was Martha. She escaped and for a whole year, traveled across the world, spreading my name to all the people. _

_ That was how we won, at the end of the Arch-Angel countdown, every person on earth was saying my name at the same time, which was transmitted across the radio signal, bringing me back to my current self again. _

_ I knew the Master couldn't be freed or killed, so I said I would keep him in the TARDIS out of trouble. I had made the decision to stop running around, because I now had someone to care for. That is, until his wife shot him. I'm still surprised by the look of hatred on her face as her husband fell to the floor. _

_ As he took his last breaths, I begged him to regenerate, but he wouldn't, being the stubborn fool he was, he would rather die than be locked up with me forever. And so my greatest enemy, yet once my closest friend died. I truly am alone in the universe once again._

_I was able to reverse everything that the Master had done, by taking the Valiant ship back a whole year and making sure none of it had happened.  
_

_ Right now I'm waiting for Martha to return from her mother's house. She has this look in her eye that I fear the year that never happened did something to her, as she, Jack, and everyone else on the Valiant still remembers. Jack decided to leave, saying how much he thought about his Torchwood team in the year that never was._

_ Oh, that's right, I forgot, Jack re-assembled Torchwood after it's fall in the battle of Canary Wharf. He rebuilt it for good, for what it really was meant to be: protection of the earth against hostile alien forms._

_ Martha's coming soon, so I better end this. I fear she may have something to tell me though._

_-So alone without you-_

_Your Doctor_


	12. Time Crash, Voyage of the Damned

_ My Reddest Rose:  
_

_ Okay, that intro is really cheesy, I'm sorry, but I couldn't think of anything better._

_ I was right. Martha couldn't handle being second best anymore. I had destroyed half her life. Traveling across the Earth for a whole year made her realize that she had a huge responsibility to the people of earth, even though they would never know about the year that never was. So she's out there, somewhere, Martha Jones, defending the Earth. I'm very sorry to see her go, I know there was a time when I wanted to be alone, when I only wanted Martha to be a guest, but now... I just don't want to be alone again. This empty silence is deafening._

_ So much happened after Martha left. Firstly, firstly, is that a word? First of all, I met myself! My fifth form to be exact. Our TARDISes collided and nearly caused an rupture in the space-time continuum. Fortunately, I remembered what to do because I saw my future self do it all those years ago. I think back on that day so long ago, how surprised I was at this skinny bloke commenting on every single thing about me! He...I, wouldn't shut up! And this time, when I was on the receiving end, I realized how much we were the same, with the shoes and the glasses and not being afraid to be brilliant!_

_ Immediately after saying goodbye to myself, my TARDIS collided with the Titanic! Now, no jokes about my flying!_

_ Actually, it wasn't the first Titanic, it was the spaceship Titanic. So I slipped on board as a stowaway and befriended a few of the people on board. _

_ Astrid Peth was one of the first people I met on the ship. She was amazing, Astrid was. I wanted her to be my companion, to travel with me, to see the stars. I was still suffering from the empty silence after Martha departed. But Astrid is dead. Well, technically, she's stardust, floating in space, flying, soaring, doing what she always dreamt of doing._

_ The spaceship was on a collision course with the Earth, and nothing could stop it except for me. It was yet another villain trying to make a profit from destruction. Rassilon, I'm getting tired of those kind of people!_

_ So there I was, captured by the robot angels, with all hope gone, and Astrid was there. She gave her life to save everyone. I watched her fall down into the engines. The hopelessness and fright that had filled my heart was nearly the same as when I saw you falling into the void._

_ I said before that Astrid had turned to stardust. Well that was because she was wearing a transporter band. I was able to transport her particles, but there wasn't enough energy to save her life. Astrid is now just a distant memory. _

_ So many people died that day it makes it hard to go on. But I know if I don't, more people will die because of it. So I can never stop, on I must go. Forever a wanderer._

_ I've picked up a rumor of a company called Adipose who may have an ulterior motive to their weight loss pills. I've decided to check it out._

_-Lonely-_

_Your Doctor_


	13. Partners in Crime

_ Rose: _

_First of all, I was so occupied when I wrote to you last, that I forgot to mention that I finally got to say "Allons-y Alonso!" I was so thrilled! Alonso was the one who helped me save the falling Titanic. Okay, now on with the letter!  
_

_ I was right about the Adipose Industry. They did have an ulterior motive. Would you believe it was to breed alien children for a distant species? I couldn't believe it either._

_While I was analyzing the capsule I had "acquired" from Adipose, I felt a presence in the TARDIS. Before I knew it I was talking as if someone was there. But soon I was painfully obvious of the fact that I was alone. I miss you, and Martha, Astrid, even Jack. It was probably just me slipping up. I wanted so badly to share what I had found, to hear a sound of approval or at least see a confused look.  
_

_ Oh, guess what? I ran into Donna again! Or rather, she ran into me! It was quite funny actually how we finally ran into each other. It seems she had been searching for me since she turned my offer down. She regretted her decision, saying she wanted something more than just a normal life. It seems my companions who reject me soon regret it. If I hadn't come back for you after you turned me down the first time all those years ago..._

_ Ms. Foster was the woman responsible for the new species of Adipose, made from the fat of human beings. But she is dead, now. The alien race knew that it was against the Shadow Proclamation to use Earth as a breeding ground so they killed her. I tried to save her, but I was too late, and she wouldn't listen to me. No matter how old I get, the killing still bothers me. I hope it always does, because the day I wake up and realize that death doesn't bother me is the day I also die._

_I knew Donna would be handy to have around when she pulled through for me with a second capsule that I desperately needed to save hundreds of lives and shut down the complete transformation process. Donna helped me save them!  
_

_ Donna was prepared for me. She had boxes and boxes and bags and even a hat box prepared for traveling! It was all stored in her car, which strangely, had been parked right in front of the TARDIS with both of us unaware.  
_

_ As much as I wanted her to come with me, suddenly I had to stop. I couldn't do it again if she was just another Martha Jones, a woman who fell in love with me and whom I could never love. I didn't want to go through that heartache again and destroy someone else's life. I would rather be alone than to let that happen.  
_

_ I told her flat out that if she couldn't be just a friend, that I didn't want her to come. Of course, being Donna, she heard me wrong and assumed that I wanted more than friendship. But we worked that out, and Donna's traveling with me now! I have a feeling that being with her will put me in situations I'm not quite used to. I'm sure it will be entertaining though!_

_-Think of Me Often-_

_Your Doctor_


	14. Fires of Pompeii

_ Dear Rose:_

_ It seems I still have the capacity to land in the worst spots in time. I planned on taking Donna to Rome for some fun and adventure, but we accidentally landed in Pompeii, on the day before Volcano Day; one of the worst spots to pick in all of history. Donna was terribly upset and tried to stop everybody from getting killed, but I couldn't let her. Messing with time is a dangerous thing, especially with fixed points in time. She accused me of doing the same thing, but I know what I'm doing, I know when something or someone can be changed without damage to the timeline. She still tried though, I'm kind of proud of her._

_ It was really disturbing, there were people there who were seers and could tell the future. 'The Time Lord and the Daughter of London had arrived' was what they said, among other things. The two things that stick out most in my mind now is that the Pyroville's home planet had gone missing. That's three planets now that someone has said has just "disappeared'. Very strange indeed. _

_The other thing was that he said "She is returning." I have no idea what that means. It makes me think of you though. If there's the slightest chance that I may see you again someday... it brings hope to my heart. But the only way I could ever see you again was if one of us crossed the boundaries of the void between the parallel worlds, and that would be dangerous. I just wish you hadn't left at all. Some times it seems like you've been gone for ages, but yet, sometimes when I'm by myself in the TARDIS, I think of you and how clear your face is in my mind, it feels like you never left._

_ I mentioned the Pyrovilles before, but never explained why they were there. The Pyrovilles arrived on Earth, in Pompeii to be exact, and planned to use the power of the volcano to take them home. But to do that would mean that Pompeii was never destroyed. And I couldn't let that happen, because if Pompeii was never destroyed, the volcano that would erupt would destroy the entire earth. The choice that was put on me sounded like a simple one at first, the fate of one city or the world. But as my hands were on the lever, I realized what my role had played out to. I will destroy Pompeii. I am the one responsible for the terror and death of all those people. I hated myself at that moment._

_ Donna and I had made it back to the TARDIS before the lava came. I watched Donna as she desperately urged people to leave town, to save themselves. My hearts ached for her. What a traumatic experience, for both of us. Inside the TARDIS, she begged me just to save someone, at least one person. I adamantly told her no. No one could be saved, it would be changing a fixed point in time. With tears in her eyes she asked one last time. And I couldn't say no to her again. So I saved one family, four people from certain destruction. And we watched Pompeii as it was being covered in ash from a distant hilltop. _

_ I didn't tell Donna but my head was burning as I felt the changes happening in the timeline, how four people who were supposed to be dead were now alive. Thankfully none of the Reapers showed up, so __Lucius Caecilius Iucundus__ or his family never did anything important or life changing._

_ So not only am I the sole survivor of the Time War, the destroyer of the Time Lords and the Daleks, I am also the one who destroyed Pompeii. I hope I can live with myself now knowing that._

_-So Lost Without You-_

_Your Doctor_


	15. Planet of the Ood

_ My Distant Rose:_

_ I wanted to take Donna somewhere special, to make up for all the trauma of Pompeii. So I took her to her first alien planet! Her excitement was very contagious! She reminded me of you, how you would always want to be the first one to step on a new planet first, and feel the new ground beneath your feet. And then I would grab your hand and we would fly off on another adventure. I miss those days. _

_ Thankfully Donna is a much bigger help than Martha ever was. Donna cares for me as a friend, and she helps me forget all my troubles. With Donna I'm just a silly spaceman, not a romantic interest. Other people don't seem to realize that though. I wish I had a banana for every time someone mistook us for a couple! I love bananas, bananas are good!_

_ I set the TARDIS controls to random. Any planet, any time in the whole wide universe! I was so proud of Donna, how she had become so much greater and done so much more than she had ever done before. Donna Noble, exploring the universe! And I was able to take part in that._

_ The TARDIS must've known something, because, in all the planets to land on, we land on the Ood's home planet! Remember the Ood, the odd Ood? The servants to the people on the space station orbiting the black hole. What a night that was! I can't help but think of the beast's prophecy now and how it came true, even though I told you it was lying. I'm just glad you're not dead, that you're safe and very alive in another universe that is now graced by your presence. I just wish I could see you again._

_ Looking back now I should've trusted you. How was I to know that the Ood are not naturally servants? That they were stripped of their true nature and bred to serve? But you had the right instinct. Just as you did with Gwenyth and not wanting to send her to the Gelth. You knew then that something was wrong and you had compassion for those society deemed "lower" than you. I should've trusted you! For years and years the Ood brain was being tortured and locked up in order to make money. If Donna and I hadn't gone to that planet, the Ood would still be slaves. _

_ When we first arrived there, in the blistering cold and the falling snow, one of the first things we found was a dying Ood. He had been shot, and right before he died, he had the red eye, just like when the Ood were possessed with the beast. Something was controlling their minds again. Donna was compassionate though, and she wasn't frightened. I'm proud of her, not being afraid encountering one of her first alien species._

_ The humans on the planet had the Ood imprisoned, locked up in containers just waiting to be shipped out to the rest of the universe! Donna accused me of taking humans to see the universe just to take cheap shots on humanity. The Ood were so stripped of their natural state that they didn't even understand the concept of being free. They were bred to be slaves._

_ "The circle must be broken." The Ood kept saying. I know now that it was the circle restraining the Ood Brain that connects their thoughts together. _

_ Donna and I encountered a group of locked up Ood in their natural state. They weren't born with those communicators in their hands, no. They were born with their brains in their hand. The ultimate sign of trust. Their song was so heartbreaking. Because I'm telepathic, I could hear it constantly. Donna wanted to hear it too. But it was so sad she asked me to take it away. So I did. But I could still hear it. It was the song of captivity._

_ It seems the renegade Ood were planning for war. A war between the slaves and their captors. There was gunfire everywhere, and nothing to stop it. Until we broke the circle by freeing the brain. The Ood were finally free! _

_ They sang a song for us. The song of captivity was now the song of freedom. They said forever they will sing of us and tell the next generations of the DoctorDonna. That was just great to take part in a planet's upcoming history!_

_ The rest of the universe had heard the song as well. The other Ood were coming home._

_ Ood Sigma said something though. He said. "I think your song must end soon." I am disturbed by this. "Every song must end." Being telepathic, I'm sure the Ood knew what he was talking about. But I can't dwell on that now, there are other places to visit and people to save. With my friend Donna Noble by my side, what can possibly happen?_

_-My hearts are with you-_

_Your Doctor_


	16. The Sontaran Strategem, The Poison Sky

_ Dear Rose: _

_ I'm sitting here in the TARDIS, thinking. Well, thinking and writing. Donna's gone off to say goodbye to her mum and her grandfather, so she might be a while. I can't help but cherish this moment. I look forward to writing these letters now as often as possible. It's become a source of comfort for me, feeling the pencil beneath my fingers and the silence surrounding me as I try to tell you what I've been up to in the clearest way possible. I have all the letters I've written to you so far, they're in a small box that I keep under the TARDIS console, where nobody can find them except me. They're my greatest treasures now._

_ It started out as a pretty ordinary day, well, ordinary for me I guess. I was teaching Donna how to fly the TARDIS. She was quite good at it, but she almost put a dent in the 1980s!_

_ Suddenly, I was startled to hear Martha's mobile ringing. Martha left it there in case she needed to contact me. So I answered it. It was Martha, she needed me back on Earth._

_ I thought Martha and Donna were going to start fighting, seeing that Martha thought Donna was her replacement. But what did they do? They start going off on me! As if I had nothing to worry about! I'm rather grateful to be skinny this time 'round mind you. Been worse before, and they have no idea! You knew though. That thought makes me smile. I'm glad you were there when I regenerated. Made my going much easier. And even after, you took it all in stride. You had faith in me._

_ I was startled to see how easily Martha fit in in her new position at UNIT. Donna accused me of turning her into a soldier. Maybe I did. I don't know._

_ So much to tell! And I don't know where to start, maybe with the Sontaran race trying to wipe out the planet for a new cloning ground, __the ATMOS systems in every car poisoning the earth, __or even with a young boy who made some wrong choices but in the end made everything right. I guess I'll go in that order then._

_ The Sontarans are a war species. They live to fight. They've been in a war with the Rutan Host for thousands of years. 50,000 years to be exact at the point of 2008 Earth time. And thousands of years after that too. I've met them before, oh yes. Don't really want to go into that right now though..._

_ The Sontarans had secretly placed the ATMOS systems in nearly every single car on earth. Which puzzled me at first because that's not how the Sontarans do things. Usually they just blow up or invade every planet they come across. Then it hit me. The Sontarans were slowly poisoning the earth with toxious gases from the ATMOS cars, in order to prepare the earth as a breeding planet for the Sontarans. They don't reproduce normally like most species. _

_They also had cloned Martha in order to stop the nuclear bomb that the stupid apes at UNIT attempted to use twice! I'm sorry, I didn't mean ape. I'm still sorry I called you a stupid ape back in 1987. I regret every single mean thing I said to you now._

_ So, where does the young boy come in? Well, his name was Luke Rattigan. Very smart, superior intelligence above others his age. He ran a school for others like him. But he was corrupt and invented the ATMOS technology for the Sontarans. Impudent child!_

_ I can't even begin to imagine what the Sontarans promised him in order to gain the technology, but I knew for certain, the Sontarans had no allies. Luke's pride was also his downfall._

_ I realized in the end that the only way to stop the Sontarans was to destroy them. But I had to give them a chance. I knew they would never take it, but I couldn't live with myself if I hadn't done so. But there was one problem. The only way I could destroy them would be to destroy myself as well. I was willing to take that chance. But it wasn't mine to take. Luke gave his life at the last minute and destroyed the Sontaran ship. Such a loss for one so young, but he made up for his past mistakes. He did something clever with the last minute of his life._

_ Martha and Donna were glad to see that I hadn't died. Albeit Donna was mad at first for scaring her. Just another reason to slap me I guess._

_ At one point, before the whole disaster, Donna told me she wanted to go home. I panicked at that moment. I couldn't imagine being alone again. That was the last thing I wanted and I desperately didn't want her to go. Then I saw the look in her eyes and realized she just wanted to go home for a visit. I'm just glad she's not leaving._

_ So the sky's clear of poison now, people are opting for walking instead of driving, which a good thing, and now Martha's checking on her family and Donna's saying goodbye to hers. Everything turned out alright in the end, thanks to a young boy who, although made some bad choices, saved the entire human race._

_ I can hear Martha at the door now, I guess I should say goodbye to her, and thanks for helping me save the world, again._

_-Forever and Always-_

_Your Doctor_


	17. Author's Note

**Author's Note**

**

* * *

****August 22nd 2010**

**Hello Doctor Who fans! I'd first like to apologize for lack of updates to this story. I have to admit I kinda lost interest after I wrote the "Fires of Pompeii" letter. But don't worry, I'll keep going until the end. I'm having trouble with Silence in the Library, you can probably imagine why. :P Plus I'm lagging on getting "The Doctor's Daughter" edited too.  
**

**I hope you're enjoying this so far, I'm having fun reading your reviews! Please keep it up!**

**Some have asked about a sequel. I figured I'd tell you now in case I don't want to put another author's note at the end.**

**I plan on calling it "Rose's Response" where she reads the letters with 10.5, then writes her own letter to the real Doctor. And yes, she will find a way to deliver it too!**

**Again, sorry for the lack of updates, I'll try to get another chapter up soon. (When I don't know)**

**Thank you!**

**_~Katy_  
**


	18. The Doctor's Daughter

_ My Golden Angel: _

_ It is with heavy hearts that I start this letter. Again, so much has happened these past few hours._

_ Martha was just about to take her leave and say goodbye when the doors to the TARDIS shut and we were thrown into the vortex. Martha yelled for me to take her back, but I had lost control of the TARDIS. Finally we stopped. It looked like we had landed in an underground in war. Before we knew what was going on, soldiers came and forced my arm into a tissue sampler/extrapolator. Very painful by the way._

_ A young woman stepped out of the device. My daughter to be exact. Makes me laugh now, she had your hair color! Amazing how they made her. Using Progenation, which is reproduction from a single organism, you only need one for the biological mother and father. You see, you take a sample of diploid cells, split them into haploids, then recombine them in a different arrangement and grow a new organism. Oh blimey I promised I wouldn't go into technical terms when writing to you. Oh well._

_ I was surprised at how quick the rate of growth was. But I was more surprised on how this woman was a born and bred soldier who knew how to fight. But before I had time to think on that, there was gunfire everywhere as a race called the Hath invaded the area. Donna and I were separated from Martha and she was taken captive. Then my daughter activated a detonating device and sealed off the tunnel. We were cut off from Martha. I set off to find her but instead we were taken in by the humans for questioning._

_ I was automatically repelled by this war-born creature. A generated anomaly with military facts bored into her brain. That's how Donna named her. Jenny. She encouraged me to play the role of 'Dad' but I told her there was nothing there. I wish I had now._

_ We discovered we had landed on the planet Messaline, and they had been at war for years, or so they thought. We know now it was just a miscalculation in the facts and they had only been fighting for a week. It's hard to explain but they were all generated anomalies, with misconstrued facts and memories poured into their heads._

_ Donna was the one who eventually put the pieces together by discovering the date lines on the corridors._

_ But before that we were thrown in a jail cell to keep from warning the Hath about the invasion and the "source" which both the humans and Hath believed were a source of great power. "Whoever holds the source holds the destiny of the planet." The humans wanted the source so they could erase every Hath on the planet. I couldn't stand by while they committed genocide._

_ Inside the cell Jenny accused me of being a proper soldier with the means to stop the fighting. But I didn't listen to her and instead contacted Martha using Donna's phone. She said the Hath were also moving towards the source, which could mean trouble._

_ Donna wanted to prove to me that Jenny was my daughter and I should care for her by asking for my stethoscope and discovering she had two hearts. Donna said she was a Time Lord, but I couldn't accept that. I didn't want her to be connected to the Time Lords with a shared knowledge and suffering, who were all gone. She said this war wasn't any different than the Time War._

_ So, we escaped from that jail cell, with Jenny's help, but soon we realized the soldiers were after us. Jenny made the decision to stay behind and fight them off to give us time. I told her not to go, but she was a soldier who had to do her duty. _

_ Oh but you should've seen her fly through those energy lasers! She was brilliant! It was then that I realized she was something so much more than just a generated anomaly. She was my daughter._

_ Donna inferred that she should come with us, and I couldn't turn her down. She was so happy and excited to see new worlds. I guess I was happy too. For the first time I was glad I had a daughter. But it still didn't change the facts that it hurt so much to even look at her. _

_ When Donna asked me, I told her I had a family, before the war, and how they were all dead. Every time I looked at Jenny I saw my family, all my loved ones whom I had lost. It hurt so much._

_ But just when I realized I had been given a second chance with Jenny, she was cruelly taken away from me. A bullet and a revenge filled ape took my daughter away from me!_

_ I held her as she slowly died. My mind thought of everything, regenerating, healing powers, anything that could save her. But her two heartbeats stopped, and there was nothing I could do. Jenny was dead. All those things I had planned to do with her, all the places I wanted to show her, were crushed in the dust._

_ I was so angry at that moment, I wanted to bring Cobb the pain that was in my heart, the heartbreaking, shattering pain._

_ But Messaline was at a new beginning, a place of life and peace. I couldn't take another life when one had just been taken. So I left._

_ Sorry, I had to take a break and come back to this. Just let me tie up the few loose ends to answer the questions you may have._

_ The source was a terra-forming device, made to produce life. A planet intended for bringing life had become a place of war._

_ Jenny was the reason the TARDIS was brought to Messaline in the first place. Through a paradox we actually created her through her own actions._

_ We were able to take Martha back home. She said that just when I finally had something to live for, I lost it. But there's always someone to live for. Always a name worth fighting for._

_ Thankfully Donna understood my need for some alone time, that's why I had the chance to write this long of a letter. Donna suggested we find a new world next, in remembrance of Jenny. Perhaps I will._

_-Still Yours-_

_Your Doctor_


	19. The Unicorn and the Wasp

_ Rose:_

_ I decided Donna would like a change from alien encounters, so I took her to the 1920's. 1926 to be exact. Right when we stepped out of the TARDIS we were thrown into an adventure._

_ It started with the killing of Professor Pietsch in the library_ _with a lead pipe. If the situation wasn't so serious I would've laughed at the irony._

_ Arriving in the garden, we first met Lady Eddison, the host of a party we were attending. Donna attempted an English Nobility accent, and failed just as you did at a Scottish one back when we met Queen Victoria. _

_ The first clue we had was the rumor of "the Unicorn", a jewel thief who had been lifting jewels all over England. But then the guests started streaming in and we had other things to focus on._

_Roger Curbishley__, Davenport, Ms. Redmond, Colonel Hugh, the Reverend Golightly, and finally, Agatha Christie filled out the guest list. Donna was so excited to meet Agatha. I was amazed as well, I am a huge fan of her books. She fooled me once, but it was a good once._

_ I noticed the date from a newspaper; we had landed the day before Agatha Christie disappeared in history. She discovered her husband had an affair with a younger woman. The next morning her car was found by a lake side and she vanished for ten days. Agatha then appeared in front of the Harrogate Hotel with no recollection of what had happened. _

_ But before I could dwell on the possibilities, we were called to the scene of the crime._

_ I knew I had to question all the guests who had attended the party, as they were the most likely suspects._

_ I found morphic residue by the Professor's head. I knew right away that an alien had killed Professor Peach-no...Pietzsch. Donna couldn't believe it._

_ Donna also mentioned how impossibly ironic it was to have a mystery and Agatha Christie, she said it was like meeting Charles Dickens and ghosts at Christmas...I let that one pass!_

_ All the guests seemed to have alibis:_

_ The Reverend had been unpacking in his room._

_ Robert had been in the garden alone._

_ Davenport was in the washroom, preparing herself for the party._

_ Sir Robert was in his study, reading._

_ Lady Edison was taking her tea in the blue room._

_ All the alibis were faulty._

_ I noticed Agatha had removed an item from the fireplace when she thought I wasn't looking. It was a piece of paper with the word 'Maiden' written on it. The game was afoot!_

_ Meanwhile, Donna discovered a room that had been sealed off for years. She was attacked by a giant wasp while poking around in it. But it disappeared before I could see it, leaving it's stinger in the door, looking more like a huge spike._

_ Before we knew it another murder occurred. A woman lay crushed under a statue. "The poor little child" were the head housekeeper's last words._

_ I caught a glimpse of the wasp above the kill. But I lost it's trail. The plot was thickening._

_It was a vespiform. A creature that could change it's appearance._

_ Donna and Agatha discovered a case hidden in the bushes beneath one of the windows. It was filled with the tools of a thief._

_While I was pondering the mystery, Greeves brought us our drinks. I was parched._

_ Very quickly I realized I had been poisoned! By sparkling cyanide to be exact. It was very painful. Painful and embarrassing. Embarrassing because I remembered the key to healing myself by doing a detox: Ginger beer, some kind of protein, something with salt, and a shock. Donna and Agatha provided those with walnuts and anchovies. Donna provided the shock as well. I won't go into details but it worked. Now looking back at the memory of Donna and Agatha helping me with the antidote, it actually was quite humorous. _

_ That night at dinner, I slowly pieced the facts together. I had a plan to discover the wasp. Suddenly the lights went out, and someone screamed. When the lights came back on, Roger lay slumped in his chair, murdered, and Lady Edison's necklace "the Firestone" was gone. Stolen._

_ I later discovered that I was looking at the facts all wrong. Agatha Christie was really the one who could solve the mystery. I knew we would find the killer soon using her expertise._

_ Agatha laid the facts out clearly._

_ Miss Redman had proven to be an imposter. She was the Unicorn, and had stolen the Firestone. But she wasn't the Vespiform._

_ The Colonel was innocent, although he had been lying about being stuck in a wheelchair to keep his lady by his side._

_ Lady Edison had also been hiding something. Many years before, she returned from India, with the Firestone and pregnant with a Vespiform's child. But she wasn't the murderer either._

_The final piece was put in place. The Firestone had been used as a telepath recorder between the Vespiform and Agatha's books as Lady Edison was reading them. At the same time, the Reverend discovered his true form for the first time._

_ That's right, the Reverend was the Vespiform, son of the Lady Edison, given away as an orphan to the church years before. The Vespiform and the telepath activated at the same time. Christie's books became a template for his brain._

_ When all was revealed, the Reverend became angry and reverted to his new form. He chased Agatha Christie down to the lake in her car. We followed them, racing down the dark road. To save Agatha, Donna threw the Firestone in the lake and diving after it madly, the beast was drowned._

_ But Agatha's mind was connected to the stone. I thought she was going to die, but at the last moment, the wasp let her go, it's final act. _

_ We delivered the amnesiac, Agatha Christie, to the front of the Harrogate Hotel the next morning to preserve history and made our departure._

_ But her books, they truly do live on forever. She may have forgotten Donna and I, but her books are around even in the year __5,000,000,000_ A_.D.! She was the best-selling novelist of all time!  
_

_ Well that was enjoying to write. It was an exciting time. I wish you could've been there, you would've enjoyed this one. You would've enjoyed all of them. I think of you every day._

_-In My Hearts Always-_

_Your Doctor_


	20. Silence In The Library, FOTD

_My Bad Wolf:_

_ You like books right? I'm sure you do, everybody loves books! I took Donna to the universe's biggest library, because of the books!_

_ ...Alright, that's a lie, it was really because I received a message on the psychic paper, from someone I never knew existed. I'll go into that later._

_ The Library was much different than I thought it would be. For starters, there were no people! No human life anywhere in sight. I checked the computer's database and it told me the same. But it also told me there were over a million million life forms! Just not humans. So where, or what were they? I thought we should leave but couldn't pass up the mystery or the danger. Just like you would. _

_ I remember on Satellite Five telling you that we could go home, away from the danger of the Daleks. I was so surprised -but yet I wasn't- that you had never thought of running away. My Rose, destroyer of the Daleks, savior of my life. You never were afraid were you?_

_ A strange creature called a Node gave us an enigmatic warning: Count the Shadows. The most disturbing thing about the Node was that it was an information drone, but with a donated human face. Donna freaked out, naturally. She thought it was barbaric. I'm starting to think the same as well._

_ But how could we count the shadows if there were hardly any objects to cast them, outside of the bookshelves? Before Donna and I could think about it much further, the lights started going out, one by one. We fled to another room and locked the door behind us. There we found another droid, one that was sensitive to my screwdriver. This also had another warning: The others are coming. That was an easy one to figure out because an archeology team arrived soon after that. The team was lead by a River Song, Professor in Archeology. _

_ I can't help but laugh at archeologists. Why waste your time studying old artifacts when you can go see them in their prime? Humans though, have to dig up everything and analyze it until...I don't know when!_

_ This River Song character, managed to throw me for a loop. Apparently she's from my future. Knows how the TARDIS works, has a copy of my screwdriver, and knows 'spoilers' about my future. I did not like it one bit. I've never told anybody, but one of the main reasons why I always had companions was to show them the universe, to have them look up to me for answers and for me to be the one to show them what they could never imagine. To share my knowledge and help them to be better people. How could I do that with River? Not that I ever thought about inviting her along with me and Donna, but she could already travel through time, and knew things about me that I didn't even know! It was unsettling, to say the least._

_ The most unsettling thing was that she knew my name. Not The Doctor, but my real name. I haven't spoken my real name since..._

_ I seriously considered telling you my real name, but I suspect you already knew after that whole mess with Cassandra. I know how the mind works, you were aware of all that was happening when she took over your body first, then mine, then yours' again. You probably also knew why I never told anybody.  
_

_ But to hear River tell me my own name, it was too...intimate. There are only a few times in a Time Lord's life where he tells someone his real name. But I can't think about that. A future without you seems just as bleak as a future with River. _

_ I feel ashamed to say that, as River 'died' in that library. To wrap it all up, there were carnivorous creatures in the shadows called 'Vashta Nerada', and they could assimilate the flesh in a mere matter of seconds. They cannot be seen, and they were unstoppable, at least until River put a stop to it. I tried to take her place, but she knocked me out and killed herself by hooking herself up to the computer's terminal. I was able to save her just in time, because the humans that were 'saved' were saved to the computer's core, including Donna. I put her mind into the Library's core where she's now living out a perfect life with the rest of her archeology team. _

_ The computer itself was a young girl named __Charlotte Abigail Lux, who was diagnosed with an incurable disease at a young age. Her grandfather had a giant computer constructed at the core of the Library to allow Charlotte's mind to live on among the books, the accomplishments of the human race. She would never be bored. _

_ I feel so guilty about Donna however. After she was 'saved' to the computer, the computer gave her a life of her own, albeit a nearly fictitious one. But she fell in love with another human named Lee, and had a fake family and life together with him. Afterwards I told her he was probably part of the program, but I couldn't bear to tell her that he most likely was real, because he could have been anywhere by the time I returned her out of the computer. It would be next to impossible to find him. _

_ Plus, then what would I do? It sounds entirely selfish but if Donna left then I would be alone again, something I haven't been since after the Time War. I would be alone, waiting for the days when River Song would pop up into my life again. Can't say I'm too pleased, nor displeased about that. The future is the future, but when is it the future when it's her past? I hope I'm not confusing you. _

_ There is more to tell, but I notice Donna is quite shaken up about what happened, so I'm planning to take her on a relaxing break to a planet made entirely of diamonds! Complete with a beauty spa for complete relaxation! That should help her feel better right?_

_-Light of My Past-_

_Your Doctor_

___I never did get the book I wanted..._


	21. Midnight

_ My Shining Cohort Lewis:_

_ It took all of my willpower to start this letter today. I am so appalled at the capacity for evil some humans have. All it takes is one little sign of danger and a lot of stupid humans to be a potentially fatal risk._

_ The day didn't begin that way. As I mentioned in my last letter to you that I planned to take Donna on a relaxing break to a planet made entirely of diamonds. While we were there I found a tour to take a trip to a sapphire waterfall. It would have been incredible Rose! A waterfall made entirely of sapphires! This enormous jewel the size of a glacier reaches the Cliffs of Oblivion and then shatters into sapphires at the edge. They fall a hundred thousand feet into a crystal ravine! _

_ Donna refused my offer to take her though. She'd rather sunbathe, can you imagine that? You wouldn't have turned that experience down for anything! Donna's rather different than you are, but still nice to have around. I wish I could have taken you there._

_ But yet as I look back on all that happened, for once I am glad you are stuck, safe in that parallel universe, as what happened to me today I never _ever _want for anybody, most of all you to experience._

_ A group of strangers traveling in a space bus on a planet that can't support life. Doesn't sound too terrible does it?_

_ Well the trip started out well, pretty fun actually. Talked with the other travelers and laughed a lot. Even mentioned you to one of them. Sky Silvestry her name was. I wonder when exactly she died..._

_ Ahead of myself again. Mind you, if you were here you would stop me from doing that. I miss you. And look I'm also off subject. Wait, where was I, let me read what I wrote last..._

_ Oh yes, Sky. That was where it started. About half way through the trip the Crusader bus slowed to a halt. I immediately knew something was wrong and out of the ordinary. _

_ There was nothing wrong with the engines so we were forced to wait until a rescue car could pick us up._

_ The others began to panic, which was then I knew we could all be in trouble unless something happened soon._

_ Well something did happen, but it only made it worse. Even now I still don't know what it was. Some sort of creature, a gaseous form...I just don't know. I don't think I want to know. All I want to do is forget everything that happened. But for mine and your sake I'll go through it one last time._

_ It began with a knocking. Just a two beat knocking, on the outside of the bus. Should have been harmless, except we were traveling on a planet where the air is extonic (which means any creature out there would have been instantly vaporized)**.** And yet it continued. Knock, Knock. Knock, Knock._

_ Never did figure out what that thing was. But it did scare the hell out of the passengers. Not me of course, I was curious to know what it was._

_ But now I believe what it was is best left alone._

_ Back to the tale, Sky was so freaked out about it that I believe she opened herself up to the...creature thing. In an instant the lights flashed off and we found the driver and the mechanic who were sitting in the pilot's cabin to be gone. Vaporized along with the entire front cabin._

_ Meanwhile the alien had inhabited Sky's body. Her movements had become strange and unhuman-like. Plus she repeated every word anybody said to her. It was absorbing the words we all spoke, adapting to our language until it could repeat every word we said, at the same time. It was beyond impossible, by human terms._

_ Suddenly the idea of throwing her out suddenly came up. Can you believe that Rose? Throw the woman out! I can see you now, had you been there. You would have verbally knocked some heads together and gotten some sense into those people, because that's what they really needed. You have compassion for every single living creature over the well-being of your own life. A trait I see in myself. Maybe that's why... never mind._

_ But every single one of those people on the bus didn't think like you do. They only cared about their own puny, miserable lives. Even if the creature was supposedly hostile, it was a new life form, and they were only proving how murderous and barbaric humans could be. __But just as I thought things could not get worse, _they turned those intentions against me, the only one who was trying to help. Accusations were thrown at me, like I made it happen. I've never met a bunch of more pigheaded, treacherous, stupid ape-like...I'm sorry Rose, just thinking about it makes my blood boil.

_ Then the creature in Sky latched on to me. She repeated only my words, and it didn't help the constitution of the other passengers, they already thought I was a threat. I knelt down in front of her to try and communicate with it a final time. I gave it every option, every thing I could think of. _

_ And then I felt it. It jumped into my throat. I felt it passing into my body, and my cells immediately stopped, paralyzing me instantly. It stole my voice, I couldn't move, all I could do was tremble with anger and intense fear. Because I knew what it was planning to do. It saw how volatile and predictable the humans were, and it would turn them against me, causing them to believe that Sky was no longer the danger, but rather I was. _

_ I don't know why the creature was so hostile against me. Probably because it was frightened by my intense brilliance! A reasonable excuse mind you._

_ But I was so scared Rose. So scared. It was using my voice, my words, pretending to be Sky again. I begged it with my eyes not to do this, to do anything but this. The Professor, Biff, Jethro, Val, none of them remembered my words about how it would get stronger and overpower us. Well, overpower me. None of them remembered, except Dee Dee, the smartest one of the bunch._

_ It all reached a high point when the creature finally convinced them to throw me off the bus and into the extonic air of the planet. I felt Biff's hands on my arms, dragging me. I fought him with every last ounce I had. _

_ Strangely, I felt you there, in that moment, as if you had some how connected with me. I saw your face in front of my eyes, calling my name. I tried to cry out to you but my lips only repeated Sky's words as I was dragged toward the door._

_ The creature made a mistake though. By using my voice and my words it caught the attention of the hostess. She finally saw the truth and sacrificed herself by pulling the creature out the doorway with her. And it was gone, for good._

_ After it had left me I couldn't let myself talk to any of those people, I just couldn't. I was disgusted by their inhumanity. I nearly lost sight of why I loved and protected these humans in the first place. _

_ But then I saw your face again and I whispered your name, so softly no one could hear. _

_ "Rose." _

_ You're so much more than any of them. If there's one thing I'll ever be able to tell you, is that you're the best, compassionate, most beautiful human being I've ever met. And don't forget it. Don't let others push you around or make you do anything you don't want to do. You're my shining Bad Wolf who, for a while, powered the stars and turned the sun in your hands. You taught me what it meant to see things as precious again. To believe in Life, Love, Hope, and Faith. My Rose._

_ Blimey am I getting sentimental in my old age! I should get some sort of award for that kind of dedicated speech. Yay for me!_

_ To end the story of this horrid trip, nothing, absolutely nothing of incident happened after the creature was destroyed. My hearts seemed to drop into my stomach when I couldn't even remember the hostess' name, the one who sacrificed herself to save our lives. None of us knew her name. It felt like the final blow to all that was good and true._

_ When I got back Donna could see the empty look in my eyes, and her hug seemed to also awaken that love that you taught me. Some things could be beautiful again._

_ She tried to cheer me up but only reminded me of the fear, the pain and the overwhelming disgust I had gone through in the past day._

_ As soon as we got back into the TARDIS I set up a blocking signal to the planet in the TARDIS database. I am never, _ever_ taking any of my companions to the planet Midnight again, regardless of its' intense beauty._

_ Despite all that's happened being over, I feel...well it's hard to explain. I just feel like something big is going to happen soon, and I have no way to prepare for it. The lost Moon of Poosh came up in one of the conversations I had with Dee Dee and I can't seem to get it out of my mind. But what can I do about it? All I can do is travel on with Donna at my side and try to forget about the trip across the silent planet. _

_ What I really need is to be around people. Good, moral people that is. Mainly my TARDIS, Donna, and my memories of you. _

_ That should be enough for a long while._

_-I believe in you-_

_Your Doctor_


	22. TL, SE, Journey's End

_ Dear Rose Tyler:_

_ This is actually the first letter I will be writing to you knowing that you will be reading this very soon. Just that thought makes my hands tingle. I've asked the clone Doctor to give this to you as soon as possible. After you finish this he will give you a stack of letters that I have written after nearly every one of my adventures in the past three years that we were apart. I hope you two have fun reviewing them. Don't hesitate to ask him any questions or descriptions about anything that I wrote, as he wrote them as much as I did. _

_ But for this letter, there is so much to explain, and in so little time. I slipped out while all of you are now piloting the TARDIS to write this last note to you. Might as well start at the beginning._

_ Hearing and seeing the words BAD WOLF again, honestly it brought fear to my hearts. Because the only reason it could be possible would be that the sinking feeling in my hearts was true, that the universe was ending. Finding the Earth to be gone didn't help. But contacting Torchwood, Sarah Jane and Martha did help, but I could feel that you were missing. I knew you were doing all you could to help, but all I wanted was just to see you._

_ And then finally I did. I've never seen anything more beautiful in my entire life. And believe me in 900 years I've seen a lot of beautiful things. All the memories, heartaches, pains, triumphs, everything of the past three years (counting the year that never was) faded away, and all I could see was your face and the two years we spent together when you traveled with me. Those two years I have never felt more complete and I felt that contentment as I saw you begin to run towards me. You were over there, and suddenly you were all I wanted in the entire universe. I felt a desperation to get to you, and I didn't want to stop my feet from running to you. Even being shot by that Dalek couldn't taint the joy of seeing you again. In my first letter to you I said I'd sacrifice a regeneration just to be with you, and I wasn't lying. But I knew that would traumatize you, after how much you had gone through to see me again. _

_ Then you and me were together, just like you had never gone. And there were others too, those wonderful humans (and Jack) fighting against Davros, and we did it. We won._

_ But there's a catch. My clone. Earlier I saw you look at him with a strange look on your face, like you can't wrap your head around there being two Doctors. Well it's hard for me too. And what I'm going to do to you breaks my hearts._

_ I hope you won't hate me for too long, and that you'll see the wisdom in my actions someday._

_ When I look into my clone's eyes, I see a fire that is so familiar. It's the same as the one in the form that you met me in, just after the Time War. He was born in the heat of battle, filled with blood and war. And I am reminded of all that you did for me, to make me who I am today. You need, _you must_ do the same for him._

_ My whole life has been running. Away from danger, or most of the time towards it. Most of those years I've had someone by my side, but after nine hundred years of doing it, it actually does get tiring. Seeing couples holding hands, falling in love and growing old together...it makes me want it desperately too. But I can never have that. I'm the last of the Time Lords, forever cursed to wander the galaxies until the end of my final regeneration. So the best I can do is give it to you. In the letter I wrote to you after me and Martha were nearly killed by the Family of Blood, I said that I wanted there to be a a John Smith there for you, a brilliant man attentive to your every need, who will never leave you, someone who could do more than I ever could. Well now I can be absolutely sure of giving that to you. I trust him more than any other man to take care of you, to be with you, to love you completely._

_ My final reason for doing this is that I have been distraught as of lately, seeing you in Davros' clutches, and I knew I could not go on if you had died today. I can't even bear the thought. I'd rather sacrifice you being with me just to know that you were alive, and my clone is more than capable of protecting you. Not that you need protecting, but it does make me feel better. I have a tendency to be reckless and I'm ashamed to say, abandon you at times. With his confession he'll never do that to you.  
_

_ I know you're probably thinking of every objection you can think of, that I had no right to make the choice to change your life for you, but please, if I have ever been able to do anything for you, it's to give you a long life, hope and a future. And love. Because I won't be able to say it when you ask me. Now that you are reading this, I can tell you the truth._

_ Rose Tyler, I love you. There, I finally said it._

_ And my clone has the same exact feelings for you too, so never doubt his devotion. He'll be able to tell you when exactly we fell in love with you too. _

_ I always had a fondness for you when we first met and began traveling. You certainly impressed me when you saved my life by flying on that chain into the Autons!_

_ But when we were stuck in Downing Street, and the only way out was a dangerous option that I hadn't even explained yet, you said something so wonderful, so powerful. It was the fate of the three of us against the entire world. Your mother would have none of that, but then I heard the two most fantastic words I had ever heard come out of your mouth up until that point. I can still hear them now._

_ "Do it." I was so shocked - yet I was not - to hear that you didn't care about your own life at all. That you would sacrifice it all to save everyone else. And that's when I knew you were special. _

_ And that thought brought a sinking feeling to my stomach. Because you were so special, I hesitated putting my plan into action. Because I didn't want to lose you. When I told you so you gave me a small smile, and right then I knew I wanted your hand in mine for as long as possible. And I got that. We had two wonderful years together. Years I will always cherish. _

_ I should have admitted it to you a long time ago, but I've been in love before, numerous times. I told you I was a dad once, and I've had past companions who...No I'm not going to burden you with those things. They are all dead and gone, and even though they brought joy and happiness to me in that time of my life, what you did for me was equally fantastic. Before I met you, whenever I closed my eyes all I could see was fire, rage and the blood of two empires forever stained on my hands. And in your own simple, human way you made me better. You saved my life, in more ways than one. And I love you for it. It will be hard to move on without you, but if I can think of you defending your dimension by the side of someone who loves you with his whole, single heart...that alone is enough to keep me going.  
_

_ So do this for me. Have a fantastic and brilliant life. Live the life I never can. Seize every day, love to the fullest, believe and fight for what's right, and never lose hope. I will always love you._

_Your Doctor_

_-Always-_


	23. Author's Final Note

**Thank you everyone who reviewed/favorited/story alerted "Letters". It was a blast writing but I'm glad it's finally over.**

**Anyways, just posting this to let you know that the sequel "Rose's Response" is already up. It's one chapter, and it closes the "Letters" Saga.  
**

**Sorry it took me so long to post the last two chapters. Never again will I post a story until I've completely finished it! Thank you for your patience :)  
**

**The End :)  
**

**~Bad Wolf~  
**


End file.
